the Battle of time

Something struck me a few seconds ago.
It compelled me to run back to my hibernating laptop and start writing this very post.
I realised that today was Thursday (already!), which meant that I only have another 3½ days of doing whatever I want all day. Sleeping and waking up whenever I feel tired and energized. This thought left me extremely stressed up and miserable. How am I going to make up for lost time once school starts again?
Granted that we only have another 4 months of school until Summer vacation kicks in, there is still a lot of work (at least on my part), to do before I can kick back and relax. I have mock exams in May, projects to work on before that and numerous tests I have to do well on in between. Before I know it, the Summer is going to pass by like a gust of wind tugging at my scarf in late autumn and a year from now, I'll be taking my mock exams once again, and only a month later- my real finals.
After that I'll be ready to shoot off to university.
My head starts spinning once I think about my future, and I tend to do so- oh every once in a while.
While I rush through all these thoughts, running them through over and over, my mother will console me, as she always does. To get to step 3 I have to pass step 1 and 2. "Why not focus on what's going on NOW?"

These days, people are much too stressed about what will happen in the future, that they tend to forget about what's going on now.
A student will worry about his or her job in the future, forgetting about their studies now.
A woman in her prime years will worry about her tiny grays peering out,that she will forget that she's beautiful just the way she is.
A parent will worry about how fast their child is growing,how to pay for their child's college funds and will miss their early days as adorable pudgy toddlers.
No matter what, we all worry about what will come. That's only human.
But what we need to do every once in a while; is to pull the emergency lever of the accelerating train, take a step back, and realise what we are missing. Maybe the train has been going so fast that, if we hadn't pulled that lever, we would never have seen the beautiful sunset just outside the window.
Maybe you would even have missed this beautiful spring in Japan-->

Over the years...!

Yay I managed to spiffy up my blog a bit.
I've realised that I've changed a lot over the years. (Wow big surprise, I know).
I managed to get hold of some pictures from a few years back...2005! Who would've known I would still be as girly today. Hah I can't believe I was just 14 there.. I think this was during my "MORNING MUSUME ROCKS MY WORLD"-phase.

I think most people have some kind of "phase" that they, after a few years- look back at and laugh, when only a few years earlier, they would've found it completely sound and definitely not something to laugh about.
<-- 2007
I've also learned that, as you "grow older" (I sound like a middle-aged lady now), you tend to forget about "fitting in", following "the norm". I guess you turn into a salmon...? They swim against the current. (Oh yes, another lame simile)- but you'll learn to appreciate it.
I think that for once I can admit that I'm quite happy with every single factor of my life. Puberty is definitely no joke- but we all learn something through it.

As I consoled a friend in need, I realised, not only was my blurted-out-crap creative, it was to an extent pretty true. As a teenager you tend to follow the mainstream groups, stereotype yourself and "jump off a bridge with the others"- if you will. But after the first.. 4 (?) years of teenage life, when you're "almost all grown up -sob sob-", you've evolved into someone almost completely different.
I used to be quite introverted in middle school, mostly because I hated it there, kids could be so cruel. Especially when it came down to peer pressure. If you weren't "one of them" you were better off at a freak show. When I find myself thinking of those 3 years of literal hell, I feel a sense of pride. What did they have that I didn't have? I used to think to myself, but now I've grown to realise it wasn't what they had, it was what I had. Determination.
I also learned to pity those kids that I used to, pretty much, hate. It wasn't necessarily because of their personalities that they were bullies, it was because of their weaknesses.
2009-->
I still see some of these kids that I so intently used to despise. I couldn't be any more indifferent to them today, but I also notice that they're pretty much as they used to be. Under peer pressure, wearing the latest clothes (even if they look hideous in them), the same over-done make-up and using those fake voices. It's a shame that they won't come out from under that polished, "perfected" shell.

Something that my parents always used to console me with was,
"You have 3 years with these people, you've showed them where you stand, and that you have a mind of your own. After the 3 years are up, you won't ever have to put up with them again. You're in school for one reason, securing a proper education for your future. Anything else can go to hell."

The G word!

I am currently obsessed with Gordon Ramsay's shows!!
Everytime he has one of his fits is just, the highlight of the show. I can't help it-really. Especially Hell's Kitchen <3333333333
So yes, shout out to Gordon Ramsay, the hottest chef out there right now.

Technology

Have you ever thought how lazy people actually are? (in general of course)This is something I've always been pondering about. Why do we have technology? Why do we have phones to call people instead of going to see them and talk to them. Well first of all it's practical, rather than marching half-way across the globe to Australia taking what, 5 years? I can take a flight and be there in about 20 hours. What I find ironic is that people would say "20 hours on a flight is way too long-why do I have to spend almost an entire day on a flight?" Well if you rather take a boat that would get you there in 6 months, go ahead. But then again, nowadays people have made such enormous progress in the discovery within technology that time is the most precious thing. Time and money.
And making the most money in the smallest amount of time.
Ramble ramble ramble~~

New Year New Year

Finally, year 2008 has come to an end.
Evaluation: In the year that has finally come to its end I've definitely endured a lot of pain and drama- I could probably enlist this year as one of the worst ones yet. In early 2008 I was addicted to an online game- which led to an all-time loooow in my grades and by the time I managed to untangle myself from the game, it was too late to fix my failing grades. I doubted myself too many times this year- I shed way too many tears than necessary, I think I've shed every single (negative) kind of tear there is to shed. Towards the summer I indulged myself in golf- golf and golf. Things were starting to look brighter but then- he came along and ruined a few weeks of my holiday. My best friend was out of town for 5 weeks and by the time she got back I was gone for 2- for the first time in a very long time: I was unable to meet up with her, and as she had no access to Internet whatsoever I had no way of interacting with her over the break.
End of August- school started again, I had worked my butt off the last week before the beginning of term to do a second test in math and physics for my school grades- fortunately I got rather high marks and was able to pick up from where I had left things.
Some subjects went well, some were decent.
And then..
Well- all hell broke loose. I let myself get carried away too many times, behaving like a spoiled brat and blind to all surroundings, I lost a good friend, and also- momentarily- my only best friend.
I dwelled in my past and felt alone and cast-aside while I was actually surrounded by people who cared and loved me.
I wanted my knight in shining armour to whisk me off my feet- but at what costs?

Looking back- I believe I've learned a lot from this year, but unfortunately I had to learn all that first-hand.. I hope 2009 brings me more joy than sorrow, and that I will be able to use the knowledge I gained from past mistakes.
I hope that I won't be as irrational and naive as I was last year.
Happy New Year. About time the new one came along..

A moment of silly

Yes, yes- I know this is a big "No-no" but I just could not resist posting this.
Blonde jokes are mean and wrong! ...And bad! And making fun of people or categorizing them through their hair colour is immoral! Actually categorizing anyone is immoral. SO...
With that said.
Blonds- dye your hair xD

There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted. The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?" Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?" Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00 The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?" Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.

MAJORLY PSYCHED!!!

Was it really necessary to use that as a title? OH YES IT WAS!!
I'm planning to be goody-goody this year- LOOOOSEEE WEEIIIGHHHTTT-EXERCISINGGGG-EAT WELL.
Well basically just sticking to the first two anyway.
Tomorrow I'm heading off to the gym with a friend -...to check the pricelist AND THEN we'll be regular spinning-people..I think! Or HOPE!
The prices are a bit steep but we shall see what happens..
I'M SO PSYCHED!!!
I'll keep a diary on my weight-tracking u__u (I refuse to set a single toe on a scale right now though)
More to come!!
--
Ashley